Boomerang Seniors: Aging Adults Move To Be Near Mom Or Dad
Like many peers in their 70s, Lois and Richard Jones of Media, Pa., sold their home and downsized, opting for an apartment in a nearby senior living communitythey had come to know well. For 13 years, theyhave visitedLois mother, Madge Wertzberger, there.
Wertzberger, 95, is in assisted living at Granite Farms Estates. Lois, 73, and Richard, 76, who have been married 56 years, movedinto an adjoining building in October.
It wouldnt take me more than three minutes to walk to where she is, said Lois. I dont have to drive anywhere to help her or to meet with her [medical] team. Im right here.
The Joneses are great-grandparents. Yet theyre among with aliving parent, which means these 21st-century post-retirement years might well include parental caretaking. Expectations are altered amid the new reality of longer life expectancy and growing numbers of aged Americans.
I pop in when I need to take something to her or discuss things. We see each other minimally once a week, and it can be more, Jones said. My youngest sister normally takes her to the doctor, but I do some sharing on that. Just because Im here doesnt mean I have to take her to her doctors appointments.
Caregiving for an older family member is not what it was when first studied and coinedas the sandwich generation, those people squeezed between aging parents and young children, said Amy Horowitz, a professor of social work at Fordham University in New York City.
Now its the children who are on the verge of retirement or who have retired and are still having responsibility of older parents, she said. In New York City, I know somebody whose almost-90-year-old mother is living in the same apartment building. It becomes, how do you balance your own life?

Kathrin Boerner, an associate professor of gerontology at the University of Massachusetts, Boston, discovered a recurring theme in her research on centenarians and their adult children that is, very old parents and their elderlychildren. Even if their children are not direct caregivers, they still mustmonitor their parents’ welfare.
With the demographics were looking at, I refer to it as aging together, the parent-child constellation will be a lot more frequent, Boerner said.
For a lot of people, that is the time if youre in good enough health you hope for a time of greater freedom. Youre past all the other caregiving tasks and, for most people, they can dedicate to their own needs, Boerner said. But for those with very old parents, it just doesnt happen.
In her at the Gerontological Society of America, she noted, The very old are the fastest-growing segment of the population in most developed countries, with an expected increase of 51% of elders age 80+ between 2010 and 2030. And, two-thirds of these very old have advanced-aged children, who typicallyserve as their primary caregiver.
We heard things from someone like an 80-year-old I dont have a life. Imagine that. Youre 80 years old, and I dont have a life because Im caring for my mother, Boerner said.
Sometimes, its the older adult child with more health issues than the parent.
Carol Pali, 71,moved into Fort Washington Estates in Fort Washington, Pa., in October 2014, prompted by a diagnosis of multiple myeloma, a blood cancer, around the same time she retired from full-time teaching.
It got to a point where I was in and out of the hospital all the time, she said. I just decided I might as well move in here, too. Its better than having to take care of the house.
Pali had lived in a townhouse around the corner from the community, where her mother, Peg Henrys, who turned 97 Saturday, had moved three years earlier.
My mom moved from New Jersey to be closer to me, she said.
Mother and daughter are in the independent-living section of Fort Washington Estates, about 25 miles north of Philadelphia.
We get to see each other every day at dinner time, but shes got her life here and Ive got mine. Were not with each other all the time, Pali said.
Shes in better shape than I am, Pali said. I had non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma before. And my mom has nothing, except she cant hear very well.
Fort Washington Estates is part of Acts Retirement-Life Communities, a suburban Philadelphia-based company operatingcontinuing-care senior living communities in eight states, serving nearly 9,000 residents. Costs vary by location, type of community, occupants and contract, according to Acts spokesman Michael Smith.
Fees at Fort Washington are lower than the company averageof $245,000 for the entrance fee and $2,800 a month, he said. At Fort Washington, the entrance fee starts at $140,000 and the monthly fee is $2,486. Smith said monthly fees do not increase with higher levels of care.
Theresa Perry, Acts corporate director of wellness services, said such parent-child arrangements are on the rise at their communities.
They can keep an eye on Mom or Dad and dont have to travel from where they lived, Perry said. It makes a big difference to them knowing the family is so close, and they can just walk over to visit.
Jones, of Media, said she and her two sisters (one lives 10 minutes away; the other, 40 minutes away) have a weekly knitting date with their mother.
We all knit and spend a good portion of the day with her, Jones said of the Thursday sessions.
She also stays busy with Bible study, church services and programs featuring professors from local colleges all on-site.
We have joined in so many of the activities here, she said. We have a whole new social group. There are a lot of activities we participate in here at Granite Farms, but we havent given up our outside friends or activities.
Jones said she and her husband sought to escape from the worries associated with a larger home and assume control over their future while they could. Living near her mother lets themblend caregiving with a relatively carefree lifestyle.
We were looking to exchange responsibility for fun, she said.
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